Ok, I feel kinda bad for not saying all the wonderful things about Yemen and the middle east in my last email. After three weeks I'm growing a bit impatient with middle eastern culture, so even though everything in my email was true, it was probably tainted towards the frustrating differences vs. the awesome ones!
Here's what I will say...obviously from the pics there are some beautiful incredible people and places. The market ("souq") in the Old City was amazing and colorful with winding streets and people selling their wares of all kinds. I took lots of pics b/c it all struck me as so incredibly beautiful. Same thing at the House on the Rock which is toward the end of my web album, just gorgeous. Regarding culture, I have learned more than a thing or two about hospitality. People here openly welcome friends and strangers into their homes (of course separated by gender). They always serve you tea and usually with an appetizer or full meal whether it was a planned visit or not. If you're invited to someone's home it's understood that you can bring all your extended family, so they are fine with it if you show up with 10 extra people. We in America have gotten so closed off with our fences and locked doors and busy over-planned schedules that many would be offended if friends brought over uninvited guests or (gasp!) were to stop by unannounced. Here I have been lavished with graceful and generous hospitality and have been made to feel comfortable, special, and doted on.
I also think it's amazing the way they take care of their family and extended family here, taking care of ailing relatives, widows, and unmarried women. They don't just throw money at the problem for someone else to deal with. They take people in and take responsibility for their longterm care. You have to respect that.
Also, regarding modesty, while it's way out of whack here with the face-coverings and full-length robes, there is something to be learned from it in moderation. I think of some of the ways women and girls dress and act in America and it is kind-of out of control. I can't blame guys for staring & lusting when our junk is all hanging out!! I am in no position to judge either culture, but I personally am learning about some of the benefits of modesty... again, IN MODERATION!! :-)
My last thing is that it is not as dangerous here as everyone makes it sound. Yes, there's tribal violence going on in some parts of the country and there are the occasional dangerous fundamentalists you have to watch out for, but by and large I've felt safer here than in any big city in the states. It's considered extremely dishonorable to bother a woman in public, so except for the occasional "welcome to Yemen, I love you" from men on the street I've been completely left alone. In fact, the other day my aunt and I walked right through the middle of the quat souq (market where the men buy the quat drug they chew) and you would have thought we had a bubble of protection around us. Even though it was a sea of hundreds of red-eyed men getting high, they let us pass untouched in total peace. I wouldn't walk through a group of men like that in the states or Europe for a million bucks!
So, there's my other side of the coin. I feel better now.
Ma salaama, salaam aleykum! (goodbye, peace to you)
Sooz
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
2/8/08
Copy of email I sent from Yemen on 2/8/08:
Hi everyone,
A few of you have commented on my pics and the fact that there are few women and girls out and about on the streets and in my pictures. Here's my reply to one friend plus some additional comments..."You are correct in your observation that mostly they are confined to the home, however, that is changing somewhat and more Yemeni women are getting jobs outside the home, of course they stay covered/veiled while at work. Some brilliant women have been offered great high-paying jobs at international companies that would require them to not veil their faces (they could still cover their hair at work), but many have had to turn down those jobs if their fathers or husbands won't allow them to remove their veils for any reason. All of that being said, there are some women out and about on the streets, but my pictures don't show it because it is considered VERY disrespectful to take pictures of women and girls. Whenever I ask they always say no, except for a few little girls here and there. It's a huge issue of modesty and would be shameful and disgraceful for their photos to be shown to people. Some even feel that taking a person's picture steals the soul and invites the "jinn" or evil spirits in. Many of the women here say they love being covered and feel protected like "beautiful flowers" that are to be cherished and only seen by their husbands. Hmmm, not sure if I'm buying it."
Technically I could just dress modestly and walk around in normal clothes since I'm a foreigner, but it would really invite unwanted stares, and showing my hair is to them is practically like going topless is to America. So me and the other American women I'm with cover up so as not to draw attention to ourselves and to respect their culture of modesty. It has invited confusion and conversation from Yemenis who wonder if we are Muslim and if not why would we cover ourselves, but ultimately they always end up thanking us for our respect for their culture.
The day before yesterday my aunt and girl cousin and I went to a public hot bath ("hammam") with a Yemeni friend. It was dirty and super basic and like being in a dungeon or old cavern but I loved it just for the experience of it. The Yemeni woman taught us how the locals wash and scrub and prepare for wedding day (scrub first on dry skin, THEN wash...who knew?!). It was much different from any "spa day" I've ever had in the U.S. We had a lot of good laughs (at our own expense) with the other women near us b/c we were doing it all wrong at first. I tried rubbing this hydrating orange mud stuff on me but because my skin is so white compared to the Yemenis' it was staining my skin orange, so they got a kick out of that. For some reason I don't mind being laughed at in a foreign country. If you look at my web album there are a couple pics towards the end of a door on a gross building on a dirt road. That's the front door of the hammam. We were told this was one of the nicer ones.........my aunt had been to one years ago with roaches climbing up the walls.
On the drive home I took off my head scarf for two seconds to flip my hair (you can take a girl out of the 80s, but...) and my aunt freaked and said to put it back on and that she'd tell me why later. After the Yemeni friend got out of the car she said that having wet hair means you had sex that day because women are required to shower afterward b/c it makes them "unclean" and then they wouldn't be able to pray. She didn't want to say it in front of that girl b/c she's not married yet and it wouldn't be appropriate to talk about that in front of her. There are so many rules here that I keep unintentionally breaking!!!!!!! I feel sorry for women here who are shamed at every direction. Women also aren't allowed to pray or go to mosque when they are on their periods since that also makes them "unclean" (so does nail polish), so once they are off their period they have to make up the prayers they missed. Fascinating huh?
Today we visited the home of a local man and his family. We were pleasantly shocked that he allowed his wife to eat and talk with us and even remove her veil! Apparently that is extremely rare and was a huge huge sign of trust. Most times the women would all be put in a separate room and we wouldn't see my uncle again until it's time to leave. That happened to us in Oman a couple times, where us women were herded into the women's quarters with no English speaking Omani women. It was awkward, but fun in a way trying to muddle through the time with smiles and extremely basic English. They did let us take digital pictures of the children there and occasionally of the women because they don't veil their faces as much. So the camera provided a lot of fun and laughs. So anyway, with the family today we were served a traditional Yemeni meal on the floor with everyone eating family style from all the plates (the man with his hands but the rest of us with utensils) and then talked all afternoon -- the women with the wife and my uncle with the husband. We were there for four hours! My aunt tried to translate as much as Arabic as possible for me. I brought some balloons for the kids which were a big hit. The wife got out all these homemade perfumes and made me put them on and then sent me home with some homemade incense chips. I got a headache from all the strong scents in the small room we were in! I keep forgetting to mention that men in the middle east can marry up to four women, as long as they can financially support them all. So guys, you interested in moving over here?!? ;-)
Moving on.........I found out the other day that the vet clinic in Ethiopia is definitely happening, and sooner than I thought. I will fly from Yemen to Ethiopia on Sunday, and then we'll leave first thing Monday morning for the remote desert to work with a nomadic "people group" immunizing their camels, goats, and sheep. We'll have four men and two women, so me and the other girl will handle goats and sheep, thank God b/c I am keeping my distance from camels these days! Pray for that and for my own battle with fear. It always seems that I get all freaked out before big stuff like this, and then I get there and the holy spirit totally takes over and brings me peace and strength. I am praying for remembrance of God's past blessings and for faith in His promises of future grace towards me. Your prayers will be extremely important, so please keep them coming!! Monday - drive all day to desert camp, Tues-Thurs - Vet Clinics all day, Friday drive to hotel, Saturday - drive back to Addis. We won't be able to shower til we get to the hotel Friday night, so we will be N-A-S-T-Y with dirt, sweat, and animal crud all over us. I know that Kilimanjaro and Panama have prepared me for this, but still, I tend to get anxious and scared about being that primitive! This time I'm really really REALLY trying to claim victory in JC and surrender my pride to God's protection and provision. Growing my faith has been a humbling and messy process, and I'm still a work in progress, breaking old habits as I learn to trust God more. Also pray for my pre-work lesson planning for Egypt. I am running behind (shocker) and needing to get all my stuff turned in by Sunday. I'm working on it a little bit each day and plan to spend several hours tonight and tomorrow finalizing stuff to send to the translators before I leave for Ethiopia.
I know it's hard to know where I am and what I'm doing, and having to be so vague about so much of this is no fun. But it just helps me to know that you guys are out there thinking about me and praying for me. I think of you OFTEN and am missing home quite a bit this past couple days. I'm going to call home tonight for the first time in three weeks.
To all the Gatewayers - I will totally be praying for the AIDS Experience exhibit this weekend!! Good luck with everything!
Love,Susan
To see my Yemen pics click on this link...
http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/susan.knechtel/YemenPics?authkey=3UuMfIAzFhg
Hi everyone,
A few of you have commented on my pics and the fact that there are few women and girls out and about on the streets and in my pictures. Here's my reply to one friend plus some additional comments..."You are correct in your observation that mostly they are confined to the home, however, that is changing somewhat and more Yemeni women are getting jobs outside the home, of course they stay covered/veiled while at work. Some brilliant women have been offered great high-paying jobs at international companies that would require them to not veil their faces (they could still cover their hair at work), but many have had to turn down those jobs if their fathers or husbands won't allow them to remove their veils for any reason. All of that being said, there are some women out and about on the streets, but my pictures don't show it because it is considered VERY disrespectful to take pictures of women and girls. Whenever I ask they always say no, except for a few little girls here and there. It's a huge issue of modesty and would be shameful and disgraceful for their photos to be shown to people. Some even feel that taking a person's picture steals the soul and invites the "jinn" or evil spirits in. Many of the women here say they love being covered and feel protected like "beautiful flowers" that are to be cherished and only seen by their husbands. Hmmm, not sure if I'm buying it."
Technically I could just dress modestly and walk around in normal clothes since I'm a foreigner, but it would really invite unwanted stares, and showing my hair is to them is practically like going topless is to America. So me and the other American women I'm with cover up so as not to draw attention to ourselves and to respect their culture of modesty. It has invited confusion and conversation from Yemenis who wonder if we are Muslim and if not why would we cover ourselves, but ultimately they always end up thanking us for our respect for their culture.
The day before yesterday my aunt and girl cousin and I went to a public hot bath ("hammam") with a Yemeni friend. It was dirty and super basic and like being in a dungeon or old cavern but I loved it just for the experience of it. The Yemeni woman taught us how the locals wash and scrub and prepare for wedding day (scrub first on dry skin, THEN wash...who knew?!). It was much different from any "spa day" I've ever had in the U.S. We had a lot of good laughs (at our own expense) with the other women near us b/c we were doing it all wrong at first. I tried rubbing this hydrating orange mud stuff on me but because my skin is so white compared to the Yemenis' it was staining my skin orange, so they got a kick out of that. For some reason I don't mind being laughed at in a foreign country. If you look at my web album there are a couple pics towards the end of a door on a gross building on a dirt road. That's the front door of the hammam. We were told this was one of the nicer ones.........my aunt had been to one years ago with roaches climbing up the walls.
On the drive home I took off my head scarf for two seconds to flip my hair (you can take a girl out of the 80s, but...) and my aunt freaked and said to put it back on and that she'd tell me why later. After the Yemeni friend got out of the car she said that having wet hair means you had sex that day because women are required to shower afterward b/c it makes them "unclean" and then they wouldn't be able to pray. She didn't want to say it in front of that girl b/c she's not married yet and it wouldn't be appropriate to talk about that in front of her. There are so many rules here that I keep unintentionally breaking!!!!!!! I feel sorry for women here who are shamed at every direction. Women also aren't allowed to pray or go to mosque when they are on their periods since that also makes them "unclean" (so does nail polish), so once they are off their period they have to make up the prayers they missed. Fascinating huh?
Today we visited the home of a local man and his family. We were pleasantly shocked that he allowed his wife to eat and talk with us and even remove her veil! Apparently that is extremely rare and was a huge huge sign of trust. Most times the women would all be put in a separate room and we wouldn't see my uncle again until it's time to leave. That happened to us in Oman a couple times, where us women were herded into the women's quarters with no English speaking Omani women. It was awkward, but fun in a way trying to muddle through the time with smiles and extremely basic English. They did let us take digital pictures of the children there and occasionally of the women because they don't veil their faces as much. So the camera provided a lot of fun and laughs. So anyway, with the family today we were served a traditional Yemeni meal on the floor with everyone eating family style from all the plates (the man with his hands but the rest of us with utensils) and then talked all afternoon -- the women with the wife and my uncle with the husband. We were there for four hours! My aunt tried to translate as much as Arabic as possible for me. I brought some balloons for the kids which were a big hit. The wife got out all these homemade perfumes and made me put them on and then sent me home with some homemade incense chips. I got a headache from all the strong scents in the small room we were in! I keep forgetting to mention that men in the middle east can marry up to four women, as long as they can financially support them all. So guys, you interested in moving over here?!? ;-)
Moving on.........I found out the other day that the vet clinic in Ethiopia is definitely happening, and sooner than I thought. I will fly from Yemen to Ethiopia on Sunday, and then we'll leave first thing Monday morning for the remote desert to work with a nomadic "people group" immunizing their camels, goats, and sheep. We'll have four men and two women, so me and the other girl will handle goats and sheep, thank God b/c I am keeping my distance from camels these days! Pray for that and for my own battle with fear. It always seems that I get all freaked out before big stuff like this, and then I get there and the holy spirit totally takes over and brings me peace and strength. I am praying for remembrance of God's past blessings and for faith in His promises of future grace towards me. Your prayers will be extremely important, so please keep them coming!! Monday - drive all day to desert camp, Tues-Thurs - Vet Clinics all day, Friday drive to hotel, Saturday - drive back to Addis. We won't be able to shower til we get to the hotel Friday night, so we will be N-A-S-T-Y with dirt, sweat, and animal crud all over us. I know that Kilimanjaro and Panama have prepared me for this, but still, I tend to get anxious and scared about being that primitive! This time I'm really really REALLY trying to claim victory in JC and surrender my pride to God's protection and provision. Growing my faith has been a humbling and messy process, and I'm still a work in progress, breaking old habits as I learn to trust God more. Also pray for my pre-work lesson planning for Egypt. I am running behind (shocker) and needing to get all my stuff turned in by Sunday. I'm working on it a little bit each day and plan to spend several hours tonight and tomorrow finalizing stuff to send to the translators before I leave for Ethiopia.
I know it's hard to know where I am and what I'm doing, and having to be so vague about so much of this is no fun. But it just helps me to know that you guys are out there thinking about me and praying for me. I think of you OFTEN and am missing home quite a bit this past couple days. I'm going to call home tonight for the first time in three weeks.
To all the Gatewayers - I will totally be praying for the AIDS Experience exhibit this weekend!! Good luck with everything!
Love,Susan
To see my Yemen pics click on this link...
http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/susan.knechtel/YemenPics?authkey=3UuMfIAzFhg
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